Running away
by raivee
Summary: Maura decides to leave her job and Jane is having a hard time accepting that decision. ONE SHOT about how Jane fights with herself to finally understand what she needs in her life. I suck at summaries. Rizzles.


**Disclaimer: All rights goes to their right owners.**

 **A/N: I wrote it some time ago, before season 7 of Rizzoli and Isles was aired. I honestly didn't watch it, I know thing or two, but I will need to catch up. There are mistakes, I reread this few times, tried to fix it with programs, but I'm sure you will be able to find some I missed. It's not perfect, I'm not a native english speaker so sorry. Hopefully It will be readable.**

 **Please, give this story a chance. That's all I'm asking for. It was buried somewhere deep on my PC and it was really bothering me. I wanted to delete it, but honestly I couldn't.**

 **Of course Rizzles in the end, with a little bit of angst. Also, one of my biggest problems was capturing Maura's character.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

„So, what are you going to do now?"

They walked slowly from BPD cafe to elevators. Korsak knew how this situation was influencing Jane. He knew how hard it was for his ex-partner to adjust to it.

The situation she had no control over.

„I don't know… But I will find out."

Her voice didn't hold so much confidence as she wanted to. It was obvious Jane wasn't sure how to react to the news that doctor threw on them. It was quite unexpected.

„Can old man give you a small piece of advice?" Brunette turned to look at him, while he was pushing the „up" button. Waiting for elevator to arrive, they both stood next to each other.

"Well?"

"Maybe you should take into consideration…" He was obviously looking for the right words, Jane was hot-headed, easily spooked. "That she really wants it?" Brunette's mouth turned into a thin line and he sighed.

"I doubt it. She is just…" Elevator arrived, doors opened and both of them stepped inside. This time Jane pushed the button.

"Scared?" He suggested and Jane looked at him with doubt written all over her face. This powerful, confident woman was turned into this… Dubious one. There was a long moment of silence before he decided to continue. "And she is right to." Jane fisted her belt so hard that her knuckles turned white. Korsak noticed it while they were entering homicide floor.

"She doesn't have to be…"

"Because you will protect her?" He knew his words will hurt her deeply. Jane rarely allowed someone to see through her high walls of confidence and strength. Right now she was deeply wounded and he was about to make it worse.

"Yes, I will. And you fucking know it Korsak! I would do everything to protect her." Now they stood face to face, their voices lowered so no one else could hear. Although everyone could see Jane's frustration, it was written all over her face.

"Well… I know that, she knows that, but it's okay to lower the risk." While he said it Jane turned around pinching the bridge of her nose.

"The fuck you are talking about?! What are you trying to say?!" She looked at him, her eyes filled with pure anger. He also saw that deep behind this anger was vulnerability. Something Jane learned to hide through all the years.

"Jane… We both know what kind of risks our job includes. That's why we have gun and badge to keep us sane, but she doesn't have any of it. She is a doctor, she shouldn't be the target." Detective was ready to say something when older man just raised his hand. "Jane… She was held hostage with you and Frankie, she was kidnapped and even on my wedding… event practically outside our job, she got hurt. And it led to the operation! And it's not even all of what happened to her. To the medical examiner that has office under the police station. Medical examiner with field work that shouldn't be even considered risky." Jane looked angry, unconvinced and smiled with remorse. "Jane!" Maybe for the first time in his life, he actually punched her arm. She looked at him surprised. Not angry anymore, it was a fleeting feeling. He really hated to see Jane like this, like she was losing her grip.

"She has full right to leave if she wants to." He said with a gentle tone while Jane lowered her eyes to the floor. Once again her hands landed on her belt. She was looking for something to stabilize herself, because she was slowly falling. "And I think you should respect that." Jane looked up and saw softness in his eyes. "I'm sure she needs you to support her more than ever."

Korsak saw something in her eyes that he didn't saw even after the confrontation with Hoyt. When he pushed scalpels through palms of her hands, pinned her to the basement floor. He never saw Jane defeated just like she looked right now.

"What is pissing you off so much Janie?" She turned her head to the side probably looking for a way out, but it was early in the morning and there were barely few officers she didn't even know from name. There was no Nina or Frankie in sight so she just sighed. "If you don't want to tell me, then don't, but you should tell Maura." Brunette once again looked surprised and didn't even try to hide it. He smiled slightly.

"If there is a one person that will understand you, it's your best friend."

* * *

Everyone noticed Jane being completely distracted today. Frankie incessantly teased her about it, being usual untactful self. Nina noticed the weird behavior, but decided to hold back any questions for now. Korsak knew perfectly what was excruciating her so much, but it was her decision to sit here behind her desk instead of going to the morgue to speak with Maura.

Everyone also noticed how swiftly Jane avoided doctor and ME's office. Still, everyone knew it was better to leave the detective alone and Jane was relieved by that. Hours passed and Jane didn't do anything useful, in contrary, she was just torturing herself more and more about this whole mess. When lunch time has come, she noticed someone walking up to her.

"Jane?" She looked up to see sergeant detective standing next to her desk.

"Yeah?" She played her usual self, trying to pretend she was busy with paperwork. He sighed.

"Go for lunch and relax a bit ok?" She wanted to throw some smartass response, but his look made her to bite her tongue. "You need to cool down a bit. In this work detectives have to be focused, you are obviously not." She groaned and without a word, gathered all her things and left as fast as she possibly could.

Frankie watched Korsak with questioning look.

"What crawled up her ass?" Old detective looked at him in complete disbelief. Frankie sometimes was so clueless, that Korsak wondered how he made it to homicide.

"What got out from your ass. Stop being a dick." With that, Korsak left leaving young detective completely lost.

* * *

Jane had forty minutes for lunch and she decided to leave the station and go to nearby park. It wasn't big and because of gloomy weather there were barely few people around. It was peaceful.

Brunette walked for around ten minutes trying to clear her mind and now she wished she could actually do few rounds. Running always helped her to forget, but what did she really want to forget?

 _Using the occasion that we are all here for dinner, I would like to make an announcement. I have decided to resign from my position as Chief Medical Examiner. It will be my last month at work._

Jane closed her eyes, her head pulsed with pain at the mere thought about that evening. She sat on one of the benches not even caring about how wet it was. It rained before she went out and she wished it could still rain. Korsak was right, she needed to cool down and cold rain was perfect for that.

She sat there looking at her dirty boots and sighed heavily. These boots were helping her catch criminals throughout the years of her service. Why her life felt so empty when she was doing exactly what she wanted? She always wanted to be a cop, she always wanted to do what she was doing and yet she felt so completely lost. Like there was still something missing.

Another minute have passed when the rain started to pour again. In the beginning it was light, but soon enough it turned into heavier streaks.

And Jane didn't care at all.

Half minute later and she was soaked. Her hair pushed in ponytail were dripping, she felt streaks going down her face and neck.

Maura didn't left yet, but was about to leave soon.

 _I hope all of you will accept my decision. I've made it after long hours of thinking and I got to the conclusion that it is time for me to do some real changes in my life._

Jane hid her face in her hands, her scars hurting because of the coldness. She took a deep breath and suddenly rain stopped pouring. She looked up surprised because she still heard the sound of droplets hitting the ground and then saw a certain honey blonde doctor standing right next to her, covering both of them with her umbrella.

"That's a very strange place to eat lunch. Considering the weather, it's even a more surprising choice." She saw shadow of smile dancing on her face and soft hazel green eyes looking back at her. Jane was sure her stomach made a backflip or something.

"Well, good thing I don't have any food." She forced herself to smile and that visibly saddened her best friend.

"You are soaking wet Jane…"

"Well that sounded very dirty, doctor Isles." She got up and saw Maura being even sadder than a second before. Jane sighed and took umbrella from her friend's hand. She didn't release it immediately, their fingers brushed and detective felt slight wave of heat travel from her palm to her arm.

"I think we need to talk…" Brunette said, looking at her cold hand gripping the umbrella handle. Maura bit her lip and nodded.

"Would you like to go somewhere for lunch? We can talk while we eat." Jane had no appetite, but she reluctantly agreed.

They've decided to eat in a small restaurant just around the corner from park. They've never been there before and it felt right. Dirty Robber or any other place was too dangerous for a serious talk. They both needed a little bit of privacy.

They sat on the last free spot, in the corner near the window. The table was rather small, but enough for them. Sitting opposite, both tried to find the right way to start this conversation and neither really knew how. Maura decided to start simply, with a question that was bothering her for a long time.

"Are you angry with me?"

Jane looked at her friend surprised. She withheld her answer because waitress came to give them menus. Detective didn't even open it while doctor simply turned few pages concentrating on her friend.

"Why would I be?" Brunette answered plainly with another question and honey blonde kind of knew this conversation would go like this. Jane hated to open herself to talk about feelings.

"Well… You haven't spoken to me since Sunday dinner. Since I…" There was a long heavy moment of silence. Jane wasn't even looking at her friend, while hazel-green eyes were concentrated on her face. "Since I have announced that I've decided to leave my job." Detective knew that if she will meet Maura's eyes for a second she will feel guilty.

 _Fuck._

Their eyes met and Jane saw Maura's vulnerability. She saw how lost the doctor was, how bad she felt with the fact that her friend wasn't supporting such a tough decision. Korsak's voice sounded loudly in her head.

 _I think you should respect that._

Jane cleared her throat.

"What would you like to eat?" Luckily huskiness hid the slight tremble that was apparent in her voice. Maura closed her eyes trying hard to remain calm.

"Please, don't change the subject." It was a soft warning. She didn't say another word until Jane finally looked back at her.

"I'm… I was just… Well to be honest I was shocked." Maura felt a little pang of guilt in her chest. She regretted her decision, she should have talked with detective first, but what was done was done.

"I… I really thought you would stay after dinner to… So we could talk… But you…" Jane's chest constricted, so many bad decisions were made that evening. Doctor looked down at her hands, obviously hurt.

"I ran away." Detective said gravelly. Maura simply nodded in agreement. She remembered the moment when Jane practically stormed out, seconds after Angela went back to the guest house. "You should have known I would." Doctor smiled sadly, still concentrating on her hands.

"I think I knew, but through last years I've learned to hope." They looked each other in the eye and brunette felt even more disappointed with herself than she was before. What was she expecting? That whatever will Maura say will justify her anger? The fact that she avoided her for half a week? "I hoped that maybe you will at least try to understand." Waitress came to take their order and they both took the first thing they laid their eyes on in menu. She thanked them and left, feeling the awkwardness between two women.

Seconds passed and Jane still didn't say a word. What was she supposed to say? She didn't want Maura leaving her job. She hated the situation, she hated that Maura and apparently everyone else were requesting for her to be supportive.

The problem was she didn't want to be supportive.

 _If there is one person that will understand you, it's your best friend._

Doctor didn't look away even for a second, she was observing Jane with uneasiness. Maura had no experience in situations like this one. She never had a friend that she shared the bigger part of her life. She had never had a real argument with Jane, putting aside the whole 'shooting Paddy' thing. They never disagreed on their choices. They've accepted each other, no matter what both of them wanted. They understood each other. They were, correction, they still were best friends.

Or she hoped so.

She didn't see anything on Jane's face, it was blank, completely unreadable. It just made Maura more uncomfortable. She had problem with social interactions since she could remember, but she learned to read body language and that was her key to survival. But with Jane being completely closed up she had no idea how to act.

"It's your choice Maura. Not my business." Detective could swear she never saw Maura this hurt. Not even when she shot Paddy Doyle. Time passed so fast and unfortunately she understood her mistake too late, because Maura was already up gathering her things. She saw tears threatening to fall down doctor's cheeks.

"God Maura… I didn't mean it like this…" She caught Maura's hand but it slipped right away.

"It's okay Jane." And just like that she have left, not even looking back. Jane nervously ran her hand through her hair. She spotted waitress standing next to the closest table and gestured for her to come. Young woman walked to her with a small smile.

Jane never felt this… Tired.

"Check please."

* * *

They haven't spoken for three days. Not mentioning the tough case that was taking all of her time. Everyone worked hard and Jane was kind of relieved thanks to this slight distraction. Maura didn't come to the scene what was rather expected. She send a substitution, some middle-aged guy that could play in American Dream movies. Just put him on a picture with wife, two kids and a dog.

They worked long hours, Frankie and Nina trying to find something in BPD's databases, Korsak interrogating witnesses and possible suspects. There was not much to work with.

She looked at the white board, at scraps of informations they've had about the case.

She looked at it and wished her gut feeling could kick in to give her something. Nothing happened though, not mentioning she was still reliving that awful lunch.

 _It's okay Jane._

It sounded so cold, so not like Maura. Jane thought about their conversation and it really wasn't that enlightening. It only made things more complicated. She rubbed her eyes exhausted.

"Detective Rizzoli." She knew this voice perfectly and turned around.

"Hello Kent. Good news or bad news?" He looked at the manila folder in his hand and smiled apologetically.

"Unfortunately, all tests negative. Doctor Rogers couldn't find anything that would lead us to the murderer. Also wound shape is extremely unique so we were unable to unequivocally tell what the murder weapon was. Certainly nothing found on scene." Jane nodded sighing heavily. She had enormous problem to concentrate on the case, while still in the back of her head was Maura's hurt face.

"Great…" She mumbled under her nose still looking at the white board. When she noticed he have not left, she moved to look at him and raised her brow in question. He put the manila folder on Korsak's desk and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Can I ask you a question unrelated to the case, detective?" She knew what he probably wanted to talk about so she took a deep calming breath.

"Shoot Superman." For a moment he looked lost and it reminded her of the dumbest genius she knew.

"Um, right. Few days ago I saw doctor Isles coming back from lunch looking… Very devastated." Jane turned back to face the white board. There were no answers considering the case or Maura and it made her even more nervous than seconds before. "I have had occasion to speak with her a lot… Especially before the operation." Brunette now fully turned around and took a step in his way. He didn't even flinch. Jane looked very unlike herself. Someone could say she looked almost… Dangerous.

"Yeah? What is the question?" He lightly tapped his fancy boot on the floor.

"Maura needs something or someone… Strong and certain in her life." Jane bit the inside of her cheek crossing her arms.

"What are you trying to say?"

"She doesn't have a husband or biological family here…"

"She has a family." She wasn't sure what his point was, but he was heading there.

"Your family." There was a moment of silence so the information could sink in. Detective slowly started to understand what the man was talking about.

"I have only one question, detective Rizzoli... Are you that strong and certain point doctor Isles needs? Because lately, you don't seem to have time for her. Or rather… You have problem with seeing through Maura's defenses." For the first time he used honey blonde's first name and it made Jane uncomfortable. Were they that close? Did they agree to leave the professional barriers? And why it bothered her so much?

"What are you saying?" She spat and he only smiled sadly in response.

"Maura certainly knows how to break your walls, even more when you need comfort. She also knows how to hide her real feelings to not worry you. But do you know how to break her walls? Have you spoken with her about kidnapping? About the operation? About how she feels?" Brunette became angry.

"We talk."

"No doubt." He answered and took a small breath. "But do you really talk?" Jane wanted to punch him so hard, but something stopped her. He took a small piece of paper and gave it to the lost detective. "Doctor Isles said she wanted to take a breath. She is also testing this place." Jane looked down at the neatly written letters, certainly by Maura's hand.

"Testing?"

"She wants to buy it." He answered simply and smiled looking at the piece of paper. "I'm actually impressed. Even though she is so angry with you, she gives me a piece of paper with an address written on it. She knows there is no reason for me to drive there. Why would I, right?" Dark eyes met his and Jane allowed him to lead her.

"Don't forget detective Rizzoli… Sometimes you can't fix things with words. Have a pleasant day." And he left, leaving Jane alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Jane wanted to laugh at Maura's choice. It was a small wooden cabin not far from the main road. It wasn't extremely quiet setting, but it could definitely be considered a 'run away' place. She sighed wondering if she was the reason why doctor needed to stay away from Boston. It was a pretty good shot.

She parked on sandy side of the road and killed the engine. Lights in the cabin were off, but honey blonde's car stood on the driveway. It wasn't too late too so detective's mind started to wander. Into very bad places.

Minute passed and she was ready to run to the cabin when something stopped her. She bit her lip when one of the lights turned on. Police job made her horribly paranoid, not mentioning the last events. She tapped her slender fingers on the steering wheel.

 _Now or never._

Brunette left her car and walked to the wooden front door. Whole scenery wasn't extremely fancy, but it looked quite impressive. She knocked on the door softly and took a calming breath. They needed to talk and Jane was kind of happy it was a cabin in the middle of the woods. Probability of running away was smaller than in restaurant.

Still she was worried that her fleeting instinct would guide her out of here. But she had to try. She had to try for their friendship.

She barely noticed when the doors opened. Doctor looked very beautiful in her fancy clothes, but for Jane she looked the most beautiful like this. With barely any make-up on, hair loose, wearing jeans and t-shirt completed with warm sweater.

"Jane."

It wasn't a question, it was something to bring detective back to the reality. Jane looked at her friend's face and noticed lack of surprise. Lack of anything.

This could mean that Maura was still angry. Very angry.

"Hi." She said weakly and doctor just left the door opened for her. Detective followed inside and then noticed how small this place was. There was living room not even as big as the one in her old apartment, completed with kitchenette and two doors that probably led to bedroom and bathroom. She took off her coat and hanged it right next to Maura's coat.

Then she walked to her friend and saw her filling wine glass with her favorite red with name that Jane wouldn't dare to spell.

"I don't have a beer." Doctor said coldly and looked Jane straight in the eyes. Brunette backed off a little, it reminded her of that time after shooting Paddy Doyle. Another step back.

Don't you fucking dare to move Rizzoli. She said to herself and then took a slight calming breath.

"Can I have some too?" Maura simply nodded and took out another glass. She filled it just like the first one and wandered to the couch with Jane following closely behind. Only then, with glasses on small wooden table, seated on opposite ends of the couch detective noticed there was no TV here. Just small already lit fireplace.

Maura noticed Jane being distracted but decided to stay silent. Minutes have passed and finally Jane cleared her throat. She had it all in her head, all the questions, everything she wanted to say. Now it was a blank space. Nothing.

 _Fuck._

And then she decided to do something out of her character. Something she apparently hasn't done in a very long time. Something Maura needed from her and maybe she needed it even more.

"You surprised me. Honestly… I was scared that this day would come…" They both were watching sparkling flames in the fireplace. Not daring to take a look at each other. "So many things have happened… So many things have changed… I wish we could go back to the time when Frost was still with us." That made doctor turn her head. She was surprised when she saw a small smile on her best friend's face. "It was perfect… It was the life I imagined when I was younger." She took a small sip of wine, but Maura didn't move an inch. She was scared that it was all just her imagination. That she would startle Jane if she moves the wrong way. "God… I miss him so much." Maura bit her lip, she also missed him. He was always cheerful and very kind for her.

"I miss him too…" She dared to say and Jane just smiled wider.

"Yeah… Since he died… It all started to go downhill…" Jane sighed heavily and looked at the ceiling. Wine glass held firmly between her scarred palms. Maura unconsciously moved a little bit closer to her friend. No one noticed. "I just… When you have said that you are leaving… I understood my job will not be the same." She turned her head and met hazel-green eyes, curious but also with a slight sign of fear.

 _What did I do to you Maur… How could I let this happen to us?_

"I will not go there with such determination… Because we were the most badass duo in the world." Jane didn't turn away her head, Maura didn't either.

"I can say it's our skills that made as such good partners, but I'm sure there will be a good Medical Examiner to work with you…" Brunette smiled softly.

"It's not what I'm talking about…" Maura looked a little bit lost. "I'm talking about us. When you will leave there will be no more 'us'. It will be you and me." Doctor opened her mouth to say something, but she just stopped. "I will be still catching criminals in Boston and after work I'll go home exhausted… I will not be able to talk about the case with you, you will have to bear with my annoying pissed off ass." Blonde took a sip of her wine to not mention Jane's awful language. "And you will be busy with whatever you decide to do, wherever you will want to do it. Slowly we will drift apart… And stop being us." Dark brown eyes met sad hazel ones.

"Jane. We are friends, we don't have to talk about cases. If this was the only thing we talked about I'm sure we wouldn't call ourselves friends…" Kent's words reverberated in detective's head.

"But lately that's the only thing we talk about, right?" Maura opened her mouth to disagree, but then she got to the conclusion that it was the truth.

"Do you still want to be friends…?" Jane looked at Maura, her innocence spilled out, her hurt face screamed at her. Brunette reached out for her friend's hand and happily noticed Maura reaching too.

"I want to. More than anything." Maura couldn't stop the smile that was spreading on her face. That made Jane so at peace. Doctor's smile was always something that calmed her and warmed her heart. "That's why I came here to ask you… Do you really want to leave your job? I mean… If you really do then… I'm okay with it. Not happy… But I'll accept it." Maura bit her lip trying to find the right words, she still looked unsure and brunette saw her tensing.

"It's… I'm not sure yet." She sighed heavily and turned her head away. Jane sat much more closely, she felt it was needed. There was barely any space between them and that surprised blonde even more.

"I'm not just saying that… But I would like to know what pushed you to make that decision. Since your kidnapping we had barely talked about you… About how you are feeling." Maura still couldn't look Jane in the eye, she was slowly retracing, but Jane caught both of her hands.

"We can't run all the time." She said it, voice barely above whisper. She saw that doctor wanted to leave, to stand up and get away from her. "Maur you are brave… But I'm here. I went through a lot… And it's okay to talk. I don't like to talk, but it's okay to do that from time to time." Maura still wasn't looking and it slowly started to worry the detective. She needed her friend more than anything in her life. She allowed their friendship to falter, but she needed to repair it. She needed to take its remains and build it again. For such a long time everything was going around her and she didn't even notice Maura being left behind.

 _What did I do to us?_

"I visit my therapist regularly. He helped me deal with my trauma." Doctor finally got up, using a little force to push detective away. Jane also got up, determined to repair them.

"Maura… Therapists are not enough and you know it!" When she still couldn't find her eyes, she took a deep breath. "For God's sake look at me Maura. Don't be a coward and look at me!" Their eyes met and both found themselves angry. They were both so angry that it felt weird.

"Don't you dare call me a coward! I went through much more than I thought I would ever be able to. I'm just a doctor." She stepped back and hid her face in her hands. "I'm not a soldier, police officer or anything like this. I just wanted to…" There was a deep silence, before brunette dared to say something.

"What do you want now Maura?" She looked up at Jane and saw her calm features, her understanding look. She shockingly noticed that this was her Jane. Her brave best friend that will always be by her side. Someone she missed so much lately.

"I want a little bit of peace. I want to stop being scared…" She whispered defeated. She was crumbling and she didn't know yet that Jane was here to pick up all the pieces.

"I understand." Detective said softly and stepped closer to hug her friend. She didn't push, it was doctor's choice.

Maura wrapped her arms around detective and snuggled into her neck. Jane hugged her tightly and for a moment, she finally felt at peace. She felt calm.

"I understand…" Jane softly whispered and Maura closed her eyes allowing herself to stop, to let her friend hold her. Tears were slowly going down her cheeks, but she didn't mind. With Jane here it was okay to cry, it was okay to finally breathe again.

It was okay to be just Maura. Nothing more, nothing less.

She had no idea if it was few minutes or an hour, she didn't care. She suddenly had all she always wanted, Jane holding her. Being close to her. Being her shield from all the demons in her head.

"Would…" Maura cleared her suddenly dry throat. "Would you like to stay?" Detective just smiled, the answer was obvious and it calmed doctor's racing heart. Of course Jane would stay. She always stayed.

They've spent rest of the evening as usual. Maura prepared some healthy food that Jane ate with skew face and they sat on the couch comfortably, this time right next to each other. Jane looked at the fire and smiled contently, she could spend the rest of her life doing this.

She suddenly felt enlightened. Of course. Sitting here with Maura, doing just that, she found a perfect contrast to that time in the park. When she sat in cold rain, all alone, being the most famous detective in Boston. It didn't matter. Now she understood that the only thing that really mattered was if Maura will be next to her.

Jane smiled a little wider. It didn't matter if she was a cop or not, if she fought the crime or not. Her work was always what she craved for, but it was truly perfect when Maura was there, next to her. It was Maura coming to the crime scene so appealing about looking at the dead body. It was Maura that made closing cases such a fulfilling success.

She always loved her job.

But now that Maura was leaving she knew it wouldn't be the same. It still would be something she truly loves, but without Maura it will be just that, a job. Everything without Maura will be just something. Beacon Hill mansion without Maura will be just that, a beautiful mansion. It will always be lacking something special. Someone special.

"Dollar for your thoughts?"

Jane turned her head and noticed doctor's beautiful, warm eyes staring back at her. She smirked, because Maura was once again her dumb genius.

"Penny, Maur." Honey blonde did that adorable head tilt and detective almost melted right there on the spot. She saw honey blonde thinking intently.

"I think they are worth more." She said with a smile and brunette let out a small chuckle.

"For a rich person you didn't give me much."

"I won't give you anything as it is just a figure of speech." Jane moved a little bit closer and sighed resigned.

"Well… You either give me that dollar or I will have to call you a liar." They looked each other in the eyes and Maura shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm not a liar, because it is just a figure of speech. But don't change the subject Jane…" Detective really wished she could make Maura forget about it.

What should she say? That she thinks she is in love with her best friend? That she doesn't want to meet her from time to time after she leaves her job? That she wants to kiss her? To go home back to her?

She looked at Maura with a tight chest and face filled with fear. Doctor immediately noticed it and put a soft palm on her shoulder

"It's okay Jane… I won't push." Brunette took a deep breath. Could she really lie to her? She just got Maura back, she doesn't want to lose her again because she is in love with her. Because she realized it too late.

"No… It's just… I don't want to destroy anything between us again…" She mumbled under her nose and honey blonde just smiled a little. It wasn't her usual bright smile, but it was encouraging.

"From my understanding… Last time we weren't talking and it didn't end up well." There were bright hazel eyes staring at her filled with hope. It was that innocent look Maura kept only for her, because Jane was one of the few, if not the only person, that doctor felt comfortable enough to show her other side. The vulnerable, innocent, sweet, hopeful side of herself. The one she kept hiding behind the Queen of The Dead. But detective also saw the wide wooden doors, tempting her to move.

 _Just get up and leave._ Voice whispered in her head.

She could simply lie that she had something important to do and a minute later she would be in her car, safe. Avoiding.

That was the key word.

She then remembered something she promised herself to never see again. Something that haunted her repeatedly. Maura's deeply hurt face. Maura's hurt that she was the reason of.

"I think I'm in love."

Maura looked very surprised, but then she smiled a little, moving her hand back on her legs. Jane carefully observed the visible struggle on her friends face. Brunette scolded herself, of course Maura wasn't reciprocating the feeling. She was too fancy, too good, too pure, too innocent, too smart, too beautiful…

"Who is the lucky one?"

Detective blinked a few times, before she gasped. Now Maura had that lost look she just saw on Jane's face. She started thinking about possible love interests for Jane but she couldn't recall anyone in particular. Not lately. She just looked at Jane and she noticed her face turned from shock to smile and soon husky laugh filled the room.

"I don't understand…"

Maura said with her brows knitted. Jane still couldn't stop laughing and it made Maura even more lost and uncomfortable.

"Jane could you evaluate? I have no idea what is so funny… Do I have something on my face?" She started to look herself up and down, when the laugh faded and she felt two scarred palms cupping her face. Dark brown eyes looked at her with something… Something Maura wasn't sure she saw before. Suddenly she understood their bodies were mere inches away, she could feel Jane's warm breath on her face, the faint smell of Bordeaux.

"You…" She whispered and Maura felt her cheeks growing warm. She was so lost, but that dark, passionate look made her freeze. She couldn't move, she didn't want to move.

"What?" Her shaky voice betrayed her, emotions that stormed in her heart. Her chest heaved, but she didn't dare to move.

"I think I'm in love with you."

There was a moment of silence, of perfect, light silence finished with a quiet sound of them breathing in and out. Maura closed her eyes for a moment and when she has felt hands slowly retracing, she made sure to put her own on top of them.

It was a second. Just a little moment.

They finally kissed. It wasn't passionate, hungry, and desperate. It was soft, delicate, and calm. At first their lips simply brushed, but soon they've connected.

It felt right.

Just the two of them, their lips together, nothing else mattered. Jane couldn't say how much it lasted, but it was long enough for them to lose their breaths. They moved back a little and Jane finally opened her eyes. She saw warm hazel ones staring back at her. Suddenly detective felt nervous, because Maura stayed quiet. She kissed her back, but was it just a fleeting moment?

Maura squeezed Jane's hands tightly.

Detective saw the wooden door staring back at her, tempting her to run. But then she noticed Maura's face, the look that said it all.

"I'm in love with you too Jane. I'm so, so in love with you…" Honey blonde bit her lip and sighed. She looked down at their joined hands and suddenly felt petrified. She was scared, more scared than ever in her life, more scared than when she woke up handcuffed to the pipes in that filthy basement, more scared than when she have felt cold scalpel on her neck and Hoyt's eyes peering down at her. "Just… Please… Don't run away from me ever again." Jane's heart constricted at the glossy eyes, at the hurt look.

"Maur… Please, don't cry…" She reached for Maura, but she stopped her.

"Promise me." They looked each other in the eye. Jane felt deep inside that burning need to run through that door. She thought about all the consequences, all the doubts, all the rude comments.

Then, the image of the two of them sitting next to each other warmed her heart. It was more than enough. It was worth it.

It was worth every sacrifice.

Maura was worth it.

"I promise."


End file.
